Ageing is a Blessing and a B**ch!

Getting older is such a mixed bag, isn’t it? On one side, it’s amazing to have the opportunity to live a long life, enjoying all sorts of experiences and watching your kids grow up. On the flip side, it can feel like aging takes away parts of what some once cherished—their looks, zest for life, and mental strength.

I admire those who have been able to age gracefully, to have kept their mind intact, their health optimal and their body strong. Unfortunately, for many its a battle of one illness to the next or one injury to another. With everything slowing down, becoming harder - harder to hear, harder to see, slower to process, body more achy and less flexible. Sounds like a good time! With that said its a blessing to live a full life for most, however I have come to realise that this is only true for those that are not suffering, those that are still mobile, still have strong minds and are surrounded by family. I have sadly seen many who are almost waiting to die. How sad and disturbing this may sound, I can see why in some cases this rings true.

I had an elderly neighbour who was less able to walk around, she couldn’t see as well, she couldn’t drive anywhere or do many of the things she once loved. Her husband had dementia and still lived at home with her, with a live in nurse who looked after them both, but he didn’t remember who she was most of the time. It was very lonely for her. She felt like she didn’t know what she was living for anymore. Her kids and grandkids were grown up and they didn’t visit much. Then one day I saw her looking confused at the end of her driveway, I think she came out hopeful to have someone to talk to. I came over to say hi and see if everything was ok, she said hi and asked about the family, my kids, then she said things are not that great for her. She mentioned she told her doctors that if anything were to happen to her to not resuscitate her, that she was ready to go. Her face was so pale, her eyes were dimmed and her body frail. The conversation left me very sad. She passed away about a month after this. 

So like I said getting older has many blessings but it is also a B**ch. As an added layer, I feel it’s even more difficult for women to age, because everything in society idolises women who are youthful, glamorous, free of lines or sagging skin, lushes hair and a fit body. This has pushed women down a path of beauty obsessed, with overly plumped lips, stretched faces, botox for days, fake hair, fake eyelashes, crazy procedures and layers of makeup to make them feel beautiful or to get the attention they seek.

When I look into the mirror I expect to see that fresh faced twenty something year old girl and the person looking back at me is someone older, familiar but different. I don’t  always love what I see, but I try my best to embrace her and to not fixate on all the things I no longer like and focus on the things I do. I haven’t had any procedures, botox, fillers, or use fake eyelashes, hair, etc, but I do try to take care of my skin, I get facials when I can afford to and I try my best to feel good without any extremes, but I am not going to lie its a struggle to not give in to the pressures and desires to look young. This is not to say those that do get cosmetic procedures to their faces or body is bad, I get it, it boosts confidence and self-esteem + some women I know look amazing. However, I do worry about the extremes people take it to, especially young girls doing things that are unnecessary and dangerous, and the upkeep needed once you start is costly and over the top.

Embracing the changes that come with aging—affecting our faces, bodies, and minds—is no small feat. As a society, we've become increasingly judgmental and self-focused, making it particularly challenging for those who choose to age naturally or gracefully. Not everyone has the resources or desire to maintain a certain appearance, as often exemplified by celebrities.

Another layer of aging for women is menopause, a transition that can be quite daunting. Ideally, menopause shouldn't be as difficult or undesirable as it often is. The hormonal changes that occur—naturally decreasing as childbearing becomes less of a focus—impact many facets of our lives. This includes our physical attributes, voices, hair, sex drive, memory, body shape, metabolism, and skin. It may seem unfair, but many women navigate menopause and emerge feeling confident and vibrant. The key is understanding how to ease this transition and embrace it as a new chapter full of change.

If men experienced menopause, it's likely more research and trials would have been devoted to offering the best healthcare for this stage of life. Fortunately, the healthcare system is beginning to pay more attention to women's needs, but there's still a long way to go.

It's a blessing to age, watch your kids grow up, and experience life’s many wonders. As we grow older, our careers tend to flourish during our 20’s - 60’s, with kids mixed into the equation, and then we're often ready to slow down, embracing what's next. However, I've witnessed countless individuals dedicate their entire lives to work, only to reach retirement and face unexpected challenges. For some, the act of slowing down can bring about sudden health issues, almost as if their bodies—running on adrenaline for so long—finally take a pause, and that's when problems like injuries or illnesses emerge. It's disheartening to think of all those years spent working, only to have them followed by a time overshadowed by health struggles.

I find that navigating this transition, especially now in my 40s, is both surreal and enlightening. I often worry about fitting everything in before menopause, as if menopause is some sort of deadline for when things really start to heat up (literally) and get challenging. I already found it difficult to lose weight after having my kids, but over the last year it has been another setback, after I injured my back, making me increasingly aware of all the things I need to get back on track. My sole focus as of late has been strengthening my body, trying to get my diet and overall health to an optimal state so I can face the next challenges in life with some resilience, and not in a survival state of fight or flight.

I get it though, girl, for all of those women struggling with the “easiest” day to day challenges, with family demands, money struggles, finding time for yourself, and being completely overwhelmed + too exhausted to do anything for yourself let alone getting optimal health. I get it. Then you see these women who have four kids, a full time career, fitting in all the workouts, self-care and healthy habits. Which means its not impossible, but its not easy either, and as we get older it only becomes more challenging.

Phew, now that I got all of that off my chest - the wisdom and experiences you gather as you age shouldn’t be overlooked. Knowing what really matters and learning to live in the moment becomes essential. Embracing each change, cherishing every past moment, and building resilience are key as we make our way through this aging journey.

Aging gracefully is about balance—not letting the reflection in the mirror define the vibrancy you have inside. Each wrinkle and grey hair are a story, a chapter in a long and meaningful book we get to write each day. I think it’s ok to have days that you are angry at the world, god knows I do, as long as you can pick yourself up, find the positives and move forward. 

How we age is a choice. Although, things may feel different and look different “age is just a number,” which my mom has said since I was little, and between you and I - I think I’d have to agree.

*If you are ever stuck and need a little help along this crazy ride we call life, then I'd love to help you get to the root of those little nagging health challenges or concerns so you can enjoy the good things in life.